Dec. 24th.

I have been so busy lately that I have not been able to talk with you for a long time. On Tuesday I went down again to Kanonsis and also came back. In the evening we had a Mess meeting for the purpose of organizing the officers mess. A committee was appointed consisting of Capts Winder & Crozier & myself. Winder was President and I am Secretary – we pledged ourselves to have dinner in the Mess Room tomorrow (i.e. the 25th) at 6 P.M. To do this it was necessary to work like slaves the next morning. Our Room had to be lined & cleaned – the stove had to be put up, the kitchen utensils, the table service & the rations from the various troops & many other little things. Then too in the morning I was engaged in moving all my goods and chattels from Winder’s to another troop officers quarters. Then in the afternoon I had to go down to Kanonsis & then dinner & immediately after dinner I had to go down again to Kanonsis & did not get back until 11 o’clock. And now this morning I hear that a mail is going to Benton and it closes at 12 and I have been so busy in the Hospital in the morning that it is eleven o’clock before I have a chance to sit down and finish my letter. So you must excuse all inaccuracies and illegible parts and if you can’t make out al I mean to say, you must imagine what I am trying to say. I am writing on the Mess table now – and a great deal of talk and laughter is going on around me. I received a letter from Mother dated the 22nd Nov. from Savannah. I have been much more fortunate than the other members of the force in regards to letters. To day there is going to be a great Pow-wow. All the Indian chiefs from far and near have been invited to come and yesterday & this morning – the place has been alive with Indians in gay & festive attire – all painted and stained & dressed in brilliant blankets and feathers & porcupine quills & skins. They are to have a big feed & the power of our guns & mortars are to be demonstrated to them. Time is up and I must close. Give my love to all, and remember me most kindly to the Cameron’s. Tell Jack I will write to him as soon as possible.

Your own
Barrie

Dec. 22nd.

The last few lines of the last crossed page were written this morning. I got up in the usual time & had a cup of tea went over to the Hospital polished off the sick & came back to have another cup of tea & a smoke, and to talk with Lizzie. I have your letter just at hand and am reading it over and – how would you like a sharp criticism upon it? But don’t get alarmed, I am too glad to get your dear letters. My criticisms will be reserved for yourself, - when I gather from the tenor of your letter that you are overlooking yourself or not taking sufficient care of yourself. On your way to St. Catherines you must have formed a pleasant party. I know Mr. William Mulock very well. I boarded with him at Mrs. Whitney’s for some time, & altho’ he is a University man and an avant Grit & a lawyer – I like him. It must have been quite a meeting at the Hamilton Junction. Mannie also told me of it in his letter. I am glad to hear that Harry Carling is better. My darling tell me truly now are you not well? I do not like to hear of your needing a tonic but if you do of course it is better that you should take it. I hope the need has long ere this passed away.

Dec. 21st.

The shortest day in the year and terribly short too it appeared. As usual this morning I got up had breakfast & went to the Hospital & soon got through the list. There are two men in Hospital – one from a slight attack of Rheumatism the other with a bilious attack pretty near as bad as those that Jack is at times troubled with. He is nearly all right now. I heard that some medicines have arrived which I ordered some time ago and spent the entire morning looking up the truth of the report. It turned out that some medicines had arrived but they belong to the Veterinary and not to me. It was after three o’clock before I managed to get any dinner & the sun had gone down before I was ready to start for Kanonsis. I found Brooks better and quite willing to eat some tea & toast with a little butter that I brought down to him. I came up again but it was a cold walk the wind blowing so strong that on the river on the slippery ice – I had to sit down at times - & could only get across by taking advantage of the lulls in the wind. You may imagine from that that it was a very strong wind. I got into camp late for tea and am now writing to you. I did not feel hungry so did not take any trouble to get any tea. I intend going over to the Hospital again this evening before very long to read a little medicine with my Hospital Sergeant. The I will be ready for bed. I hear that there will be two or three chances very soon to send in letters to Benton. I hope so, and now must go. So Good night for the present – perhaps I will have time to write a few more lines when I get back. I had to go over to Denney & tell him about some bear skins he wished me to see about. I got talking there until very late and chess being mentioned I brought over the chessmen and sat up with Denney until after 12 o’clock playing three games. I came out the best – he beating me one.

Sunday – Dec. 20th.

The month is rapidly going down the old year is gradually coming to end and the New Year replete with new hopes, new desires, new fears, new plans for the future & renewed feelings of love towards my own darling. You will not I am afraid that you will not get this until after New Years – but let me wish you such a Happy New Year and such a merry Christmas that you will not miss me so much. This morning I was up in good time about 8 o’clock had breakfast which was exactly the same as dinner and supper – viz Buffalo steaks & bacon bread & tea – then the sick call going I polished them off & came back to have a smoke and write to you – talk to you as I feel I am doing. Poor Ned Armour. I can’t see why he deserves a whipping even if he does play the part of a thunder-cloud. I am very glad that you have come to like him. My watch kept very good time & kept going all along the march – until the 13th of October when we arrived at our last camp when it stopped and nothing would induce it to go. The other day I thought I would try it again, so after fiddling a while with the works, it began to go and has kept on for the last few days. All my sketches will not be a great many – and besides I have sent two of them to Col. French – one like that of the Fort that I am sending you – the other an interior view with the guard mounting. I will try before another mail goes out – to get you a good view of the square – surrounded by the buildings. It will give you an idea of what I see when I look out of my window. I went down to Kanonsis again this afternoon to see Brook and find him steadily progressing. I am still very fearful for him. On my way down I saw Col. MacLeod and Capt Winder returning – they have been away to two or three days down to Fort Whoop Up to collect the customs duties on the various goods – imported since last May. They waved their hands to me – and I replied. After I came back I went down to see our interpreter Jerry Potts. I wanted to get a tanned & dressed Buffalo skin smoked in order to have a pair of pants made of it – he has a tobacco bag – such as the Indian use – for me. they call it a fire bag, they carry in it their flint & steel killikinik tobacco & pipe. I will have it as an ornament hanging in the room. I must now say Good Night. After I tell you that we have had no church service today only one Sunday since we have been here – have we had church parade. Our Mess Room is not yet fitted up – so we did not have dinner in it to day as we expected. So Good night my love and pleasant dreams attend you.

Saturday, Dec. 19th

Good morning Liz. How do you feel this bright sunny morning. No worse for the snow? Last evening it began snowing about 7 o’clock and continued for a few hours about 6 inches of snow has fallen. I was up pretty late last night reading some anatomy. So this morning I did not get up until nearly nine o’clock breakfast was ready but just as I sat down the ‘Sick Call’ went and I had to go to the Hospital. This occupied me about an hour – then I came back finished my breakfast. After breakfast I had a smoke then took a bath. Now I am writing to you. To return to your letters. So Father wrote to you did he? He did not say anything about it to me in his letter I received since I have been here. I am very glad that he did write to you. I am so very sorry to hear of dear Aunt Lou’s illness. If you could only known her and the history of her hard life, you would pity her more & love her still more. So you have been to Chicago. I suppose I will learn all about it some time or other. I sincerely hope that you will soon be able to make up the lost pounds of flesh. Try and guess how much I weigh. I was weighed the other day and balanced the scales at 153 lbs!!! I think that 160 will be reached before I reach Toronto. The enormous weight ought to show you that I am and have been in good health. I will tell you if I am not well – even as I expect you to tell me. say the right thing to Miss (I beg pardon) Mrs. Bethure for me – will you be so kind? Does Miss Wright know that you have my phiz for her? I promised her one, but if she does not want it I know Fergie would be glad to get it. So do as you think best old woman. There goes the dinner bugle – and I will have to stop. I am going down to Kanonsis this afternoon to see my man. I went down after dinner and took my carbine along thinking to come home through the bush on the farther side of the river and perhaps get a shot at a deer. I found Brooks about the same. Examined another man’s eyes & this made it so late that it was too dark to hope for a shot on our way home. I got back just in time for tea. We had Buffalo steak & bacon for tea, with the concomitant bread and tea. I eat heartily and had a smoke. Then played a game of chess with Jackson who after a hard fought game beat me. I then set to work to finish a sketch of the Fort which I took some time ago. And now I am with you. I intend sending this sketch to you – the long building prominent in the front is the officer’s quarters. The windows in the corners are in the room next to mine, the stove pipe coming thro’ the roof on the front side is from our room & comes out very nearly over the foot of my bed. Speaking of beds reminds me that I only got the bed since I came into Quarters. The little building to the left, with the chimney is the guard room & is on the same line as the officers Qus. The Row of buildings on the right behind the tent are the ‘C’ or ‘F’ Troop Barrack Rooms those behind are the stables in the corner that can’t be seen in the sketch is the Hospital. The ground plan I will draw on the back of the sketch. I cannot give you exactly the dimensions of everything just now as I have partly disremembered them. The following is a plan of ‘C’ Troop Offrs Qrs. Of course things are not in proportion in the annexed diagram but it will give you an idea of how we are arranged in the tent, I mean house. One good thing is that we need not go outside to get into the Mess Room – we go thro’ the kitchen into the Mess Room – also the door looking in upon the Quadraugh is closed up for the winter. It is now getting very late old woman & I am getting sleepy so good night. The wind is blowing a ‘howler’ tonight.

Fort MacLeod, Dec. 18th 1874

Now for one of those grand Diary Letters! Do you not feel very much frightened at being the repository of secrets which weigh down to the ground the mighty medicine man of the Palefaces? If you do not – then all I can say is that you do not show a proper respect for the aforesaid man of Power – (& Pills). I feel very happy my darling – happier and more contented than I have for many a long long weary day. Your dear letters have infused new life into me. the fond assurance that you are well in spite of little slips of a sore lip of a cold & a feeling of weakness & tiredness on the slightest exertion fills me with Joy. How have I not imagined you – in all possible ills that human flesh is heir to – having in the wild delirium of fever or knowing in dire pain – and calling on me to help you and I far away & ignorant of it all and even if I knew of it utterly powerless to aid you and unable to come to you. Many a night I have lain awake torturing myself with these painful reflections. But now they give place to a happier train of thought I know my little girl is taking care of herself if not for my sake then for her own and is enjoying herself too. I am so thankful dear, that you have so many kind friends who are able to comfort my darling & distract her thoughts from one gloomy subject like myself – knowing as I do that the distraction is only from the gloomy side of the picture & that pleasant scenes & pleasant friends tried to engender pleasant thoughts, even in one of a melancholy somber turn of mind – how much more then in my own little girl. Last evening I read over all your letters – the first time I only glanced over them looking for the latest news of yourself – last night however I only labeled the envelopes with dates & read them in chronological order. I forgot to tell you that yesterday noon I received another batch of letters – from you written in November from St. Kitts – and one from Ted Covernton. I can only give you nothing for your Tinytype. I am so wholly yours I have nothing left to give you – but my and that will never fail, it is like the old fairy tale of the jug of milk the more they used the more there was to use or little the Widow’s cruse of oil – never failing. Your tobacco pouch needs no apologies & what care I for severe judges on the prairie or elsewhere? did they make the pouch? Could money purchase [ ] one? No--- what then do you mean by making excuses for it, it needs none. At the same time I have no strong objections to supervise the manufacture of the next. I had to stop here for dinner was just being put on the ‘table’ (which is a large packing case raised from the ground on a 10 gallon alcohol case) and consequently I had to decamp after dinner I went down to see my sick man being offered a seat in the sumptuous conveyance I gladly accepted the offer & drove down on a hay rack – four in hand team trotting across the frozen country – no springs. I digested my dinner well. I found my patient ever so much better & a good sign was that he was asking for something to eat. He will I think recover from this attack but I cannot say so much of the next. I had borrowed a rifle from Denny one of the officers - & walked towards camp through the bush on the opposite side of the river – thinking to see some prairie chicken or hares – but I was not fortunate and came in feeling nicely tired & hungry as a wolf. It was now too dark to do anything inside the room so I went over to the hospital and found some putty & began puttying the panes of glass in my window. I continued to do this until it was too dark even for that & then the bugle sounded – for the guard to fall in – and I watched the adjutant inspect it – and the officer of the day march it off & relieve the old guard. It was now tea time – and I fell to with a will. Then taking off my boots & putting on my slippers – do you recollect making them for me? the black ones with the bunch of flowers & my smoking cap – do you remember that? The philosopher. Did you object so much to being caught in a philopoena as you do to losing a bit? Then filling my pipe I lit it of course & began reading the ‘mails’ Jack sent me. then tossing these aside I talk to my own little dear & first of all let me crave your pardon for not having before given you a real diary letter. My reason was the absurd scarcity of paper. You could not get any there was none in the country – but now I have received my stationery (a or e?) I will be very culpable indeed if I do not fulfil my promise. I want to speak about some little things in your letters. I am very much obliged to Miss Louisa Chisholm for making you take so much outdoor exercise – it is good for you. If she would only make you go to bed earlier it would be better still. The idea of trotting about all day and then sitting up to such unconscionable hours – half past one! Why did you not sit up all night? Don’t do it anymore Liz – even to write to me. Poor Frank – I had heard nothing about his illness. His brains were afflicted than his spine. Then he had some reason in what he said about his head going to sleep. Poor fellow. How they used to teaze him about that speech at the Cameron’s. I am so glad he is getting better. Tell him that I wrote to him - & if I had known of his weak state Especially the brain – I would have written a very simple letter – with no word of more than one syllable. I am really very sorry for him – but I feel so happy in hearing from you & also in the knowledge that he is now out of danger that I may be excused from Joking at him.

I am very glad old woman that you have come to like Ned Armour – he is a really good kind hearted Christian thoroughly earnest & as warm hearted as he is undemonstrative. Ned and I were always good friends – especially when by his laziness & being led away by Ned Burke he lost the scholarship at Trinity – since then each year has only cemented our friendship more closely. I am glad now that I am not at Edmonton. Very glad, indeed. Then the only chance of a mail would have been the H.B.Co.’s Wireless Packet & they would not have been able to bring all the mail matter for us. My old horse is picking rapidly & getting quite strong – when I left him to go to Benton I scarce expected to see him again – but since he has been here he has had no work to do but an occasional ride down to Kanonsis where my sick men were – Now old ‘Satan’ has gone to Sun River to pass the Winter. I wonder if he will forget me when he is away.

I too am glad my precious darling that you wrote that letter. You have no idea of the sense of overwhelming comfort it gave to me on the wild prairie. It seemed to make one feel at once that I was not lost that I was in my Father’s keeping – and that the spirit of your prayers hovered over me and that I was not even alone. And since then I have as before talked to your dear handwriting on the envelope – but now I could open it and hear you answer me. You would often have laughed to hear me asking the senseless bit of paper with some ink scratches on it the gravest questions and keeping up a conversation with it. Many a time too Old ‘Satan’ has no doubt cogitated on my sanity. For while we were on the march, he walking along beside me – I would talk to him about you by the hour & when I saw his bright eye of which alas! grew very dim before we got to our journey’s end I glance at me – I would throw my arms around his neck lay my head against his and tell him I wished it was you. The poor old fellow would stop & look at me so sorrowfully – as much as to say – “Now don’t take on so – all will come right in time”. Then perhaps we would see a little piece of the prairie which looked not quite so parched as the rest & we would make towards it and he would try to get a mouthful to appears that dreadful “Tiger” inside of him. Did you ever read “Blades of Grass” by Farjean? You will then know what I mean by the Tiger.

– Good night –

Fort MacLeod, December 16th 1874

My Dear Liz

This is a day that must ever be marked with a white store – for today we, I speak collectively for the force, received a portion of mail matter. I got a letter from Jack dated Oct. 11 Yours of Oct. 5th, 9th, 12th, 19th, 26th – one from Mannie of the same month – some from Aunt Ellie & Mannie of Oct. 16th also some copies of the Mail – for which I am deeply thankful. You will receive at the same time as this a letter from me – complaining very much of the letters not coming. I had almost begun to fancy something was wrong – but the fact that no one received letters made me feel that the wrong lay in the transportation. Thank God my darling that you are well. How many many times the dragging thought has haunted me that you might be ill and I not at hand to help you take care of you. All day long I have been so busy getting a list of drugs & medicines required that had to go by Major Walsh who left at 12 to day - & he had not been gone an hour when the letters came I spent the afternoon reading your letters but can hardly answer any questions. I was only cognizant of the fact that I was reading your own dear letter and I knew you to be well. I have not read any of the other letters but Jack’s. I find I have an opportunity of sending this letter after Major Walsh & can only hurriedly say that I have received yours. I am well that is all I can say. Well – everything has an end and so have long periods of time – perhaps I will one day receive your other letters – which are now wandering somewhere between Toronto & Fort MacLeod and the North Pole & the Equator.

I will just look over your last letter again. So you are in St. Kitt? Remember me most kindly to Miss Taylor and so my promotion & increase of salary is good news is it? Don’t you think that the natural consequences of that will be to lengthen my stay here? Perhaps you ought to look at it in this light viz that I am here for the purpose of making a sum of money that the larger my salary is the more rapidly will that sum be accumulated and consequently the sooner will I return. I must say that I can hardly give credence to the report. How did Dr. Thorburn know anything about it? However if you mean what you say – Old Woman, beware! I may stay out here for a longer time than at present I expect to. But if you do not want me there will be no object in my going back too soon. Your letter did not reach me in time for my Birthday nor late enough for Christmas. I hope that you will get this about New Year’s day. Thank you ever so kindly for your beautiful Tobacco pouch. It is quite acceptable I hope sincerely that I will superintend the making of the next one – perhaps too I will ‘catch’ you at it. I was going to reread your letters & answer any questions I might find in them but find that if I read I can’t write so I will only write. While I was still reading your letters this afternoon, I had to go down to Kanouse’s to see one of my sick men. He is poor fellow very ill I do not think that he will ever recover he may get over this sharp attack, but is liable at any moment to suddenly drop dead. Poor fellow – he is his grandmother’s only grandchild & had lived with her all his life – never having been away from her until he came on this expedition. He must have been longing to see the wrinkled old face & to hear the tremulous accents of his old second mother – to hear from her or of her – and here I was in the bloom of health blessed with news from my loved ones, while he poor chap lay suffering in mind & body without one scrap of comfort. It seems so hard. I talked with him a long time and it was quite dark when I got back & found tea waiting and your letters still unfinished & Jack’s & Mannie’s & the Home letter & Ned’s all to be read. I first went to the Colonel & told him I wanted some one to go down & sit up with the sick man – went & got the likeliest man for that purpose and made up some medicine for him – gave directions how it was to be taken – came in had tea – lit my pipe and then finished your letters & Jack’s & the Home one. I think you must be mistaken when you say that mother has suffered so much with her ear and eye. Aunt Ellie says it is Aunt Lou & if it were Mother what would she be doing way up in Philadelphia. I must close now with fervent heartful thanks to the glorious giver of all good things & with my best love to my own Lizzie.

Barrie