Fort McLeod, June 15th, 1875

My darling Lizzie,

I will go on answering a few thoughts in your letter of May 3rd etseq. before I tell you what has been going on to day. I left off about John coming to Canada – if he does get him acquainted with Frank Darling. I think they would like one another. So you are going to lose Saida. If you went home with her you would not lose her so quickly and so to the heat - & the climate. Athens is as healthy a place as you could find in Canada. During the summer the average temperature I could bet is less than that of Toronto. You know Athens is in a very hilly country near the southernmost spur of the Blue ridge mountains. The nights are nearly always cool and pleasant & people do not go gallivanting about the streets in the full glare of the hot sun. I wonder what subject you will take up to study. Suppose you try mathematics. Your Father would be delighted to help you in so far as Algebra was concerned. The late rains have caused the river to rise very high. The bridge that we took so much trouble to build – is in danger of being washed away, the middle pier has already sunk about a foot – the water comes with fearful force against it. The North Peagan Indians have been over the cut bank across the river all the morning – we expect the Kootanies in every day. I received the pleasant news to day that Baker is going in tomorrow to Benton and will take in a mail – so this goes off tonight. I do not know who wrote ‘Rain in the Heart’. Cissy Stotesbury could perhaps tell you – she sent the piece cut from a newspaper to Aunt Ellen in Savannah. I do not recollect if it had the author’s name attached or not. Of course it is written from that line of Longfellow’s ‘Into each life some rain must fall, Some days must be dark & dreary’.

I certainly had a cold – but I was not afraid of any of my medicines – but I thought that it would get well of itself – which it did and saved me making some of my faces. Your last letter tho’ very dilapidated in appearance was all right on the inside – and none had fallen out. I cannot help drawing a conclusion from your letter. What is to become of me – if when you are happy you tease & when angry scold me? Dear me what a life to lead. Tell Jack that I have received some of the ‘Practictioners’ and also some numbers of the Canadian Monthly. I expect they have come from his thoughtful mind also and am sincerely thankful. The publication of my letters has been quite sufficient to break down a paper-mill – well how weighty they must have been. Indeed poor darling I do feel so sorry for your cold. I am glad you took some ‘hotstuff’ for it – you should have taken it after getting into bed and then piled the blankets over you. I should like to have dropped in upon you during the Spree.

I am glad to learn from the later pages of your letter that your cold succumbed so easily – although it no doubt caused you great annoyance & trouble at the time. So poor Mr. Crawford is dead. I see by the papers that Mr. Brown will not accept the Lt. Gov.ship but it has been conferred upon the Hon. D.A.M. McD. Will he be any more acceptable to you than the Hon. G.B. ? I have been endeavoring to write while an excessively voluble old Half-breed named Munroe about 80 years old with very gray hair and one eye whose lower lid is turned outwards red & glowering – he talks a mixture of French & English and uses all the gesticulations of the Indian. He is talking of the Native medicines. How he does rattle on. Were I not trying to write to you I should be pleased to hear & listen to him. I must close this now. I really can’t get rid of this old chief & cannot possibly write with him taking. I shall however before this goes write a little more.

Well I am glad to say that the old chap has gone. But it is getting very late and I must send this off. Give my love to all at home and with the best love of my heart from your own

Barrie

March 11th

Conrad's horses came in yesterday, late in the afternoon and brought me one paper, The Nation. Of course I was proportionately disappointed for I fully expected to hear again from you. Col. MacLeod has determined [?] go in tomorrow to [?] on business. The business I think is to [?] out a [?] for furnishing [?] the Cypress Hills[.] a large quantity of flour and oats, to be determined next [?] [?], which looks as though somebody was going to their next [?]. I wrote yesterday to Harry Stotesburg & to [?], and also added some lines to a letter to my brother, so I was pretty well occupied, don't you think so? And now I must endeavour to answer you with [?] affection [?] which was the day Baker left here with the [?]

second made a mistake your letter was [?] the 1st of Feb. or the fifth? I am very glad that you had[?] the [?] [?] [?] of no discourse of mine[,] I shall be able to do better than that at least[.] Frank says it is in my own hand I have to be economical with my drawing people as I have only a very little. I suppose that you would not object to my getting into mischef with you as [?] [?] to dislike the idea without you. I really cannot tell you how many pipes I smoke every day. I [?] [?] and calcuate. If a pound of tobacco contains 16 ounces and each ounce 8 drachmas[?], + each smoke contains one drachma and a pound of tobacco lasts me one week[.] Then there will be 128 smokes through the week or about 18 pipes a day. Now[,] if I sleep 8 hours of the twentyfour and[?] am[?] [?] with work which prohibits smoking for four[?] more[?] [?] you will see [?] [?] [?] [?] [?] hours[?] left in [?] those 8 pipes, must come very nearly two pipes an hour. However I may observe here that a pound of tobacco lasts me considerably over a month, which will [?] the average down to a much lower figure. I seldom will smoke before breakfast + do not get breakfast at times until 10 o'clock so don't be frightened. Yes I am a very useful man. I will gaurentee to work at anything for you when you have found out what you want. I forgive[?] Frank, tell him so and heap coals of fire on his head. My watch is now going all night[,] keeps pretty good time[.] I keep it going by the sun [?] it back of [?] fast + on if too low that I had anything to be [?] about? + who the should [?] the blame? I [?] back in defiance You, you, you. Oh I meant to tell you that I have [?] my [?] of Surgeon dated July 6th, but have heard nothing of my increase of pay. You have [?] me you can read my crossed letters. You will now have an opportunity of doing so. It is blowing and storming to day at a great rate[,] one is not able to see more than a hundred yards. Col. Macleod goes in to [?] soon. [P]erhaps not tomorrow on account of the storm. I will add a line or two to this if he [?] [?] [?] than tomorrow. So for the present I will say goodbye. With love, I am your Barrie.

No time to add more. Many many thanks for your kind present and your photo. It goes 'round with me now everywhere. The [?] have informed “Col. MacLeod that [?] arrangements have been made for the provision[?] of the Force.

Your own, Barrie.

Fort MacLeod, Dec. 18th 1874

Now for one of those grand Diary Letters! Do you not feel very much frightened at being the repository of secrets which weigh down to the ground the mighty medicine man of the Palefaces? If you do not – then all I can say is that you do not show a proper respect for the aforesaid man of Power – (& Pills). I feel very happy my darling – happier and more contented than I have for many a long long weary day. Your dear letters have infused new life into me. the fond assurance that you are well in spite of little slips of a sore lip of a cold & a feeling of weakness & tiredness on the slightest exertion fills me with Joy. How have I not imagined you – in all possible ills that human flesh is heir to – having in the wild delirium of fever or knowing in dire pain – and calling on me to help you and I far away & ignorant of it all and even if I knew of it utterly powerless to aid you and unable to come to you. Many a night I have lain awake torturing myself with these painful reflections. But now they give place to a happier train of thought I know my little girl is taking care of herself if not for my sake then for her own and is enjoying herself too. I am so thankful dear, that you have so many kind friends who are able to comfort my darling & distract her thoughts from one gloomy subject like myself – knowing as I do that the distraction is only from the gloomy side of the picture & that pleasant scenes & pleasant friends tried to engender pleasant thoughts, even in one of a melancholy somber turn of mind – how much more then in my own little girl. Last evening I read over all your letters – the first time I only glanced over them looking for the latest news of yourself – last night however I only labeled the envelopes with dates & read them in chronological order. I forgot to tell you that yesterday noon I received another batch of letters – from you written in November from St. Kitts – and one from Ted Covernton. I can only give you nothing for your Tinytype. I am so wholly yours I have nothing left to give you – but my and that will never fail, it is like the old fairy tale of the jug of milk the more they used the more there was to use or little the Widow’s cruse of oil – never failing. Your tobacco pouch needs no apologies & what care I for severe judges on the prairie or elsewhere? did they make the pouch? Could money purchase [ ] one? No--- what then do you mean by making excuses for it, it needs none. At the same time I have no strong objections to supervise the manufacture of the next. I had to stop here for dinner was just being put on the ‘table’ (which is a large packing case raised from the ground on a 10 gallon alcohol case) and consequently I had to decamp after dinner I went down to see my sick man being offered a seat in the sumptuous conveyance I gladly accepted the offer & drove down on a hay rack – four in hand team trotting across the frozen country – no springs. I digested my dinner well. I found my patient ever so much better & a good sign was that he was asking for something to eat. He will I think recover from this attack but I cannot say so much of the next. I had borrowed a rifle from Denny one of the officers - & walked towards camp through the bush on the opposite side of the river – thinking to see some prairie chicken or hares – but I was not fortunate and came in feeling nicely tired & hungry as a wolf. It was now too dark to do anything inside the room so I went over to the hospital and found some putty & began puttying the panes of glass in my window. I continued to do this until it was too dark even for that & then the bugle sounded – for the guard to fall in – and I watched the adjutant inspect it – and the officer of the day march it off & relieve the old guard. It was now tea time – and I fell to with a will. Then taking off my boots & putting on my slippers – do you recollect making them for me? the black ones with the bunch of flowers & my smoking cap – do you remember that? The philosopher. Did you object so much to being caught in a philopoena as you do to losing a bit? Then filling my pipe I lit it of course & began reading the ‘mails’ Jack sent me. then tossing these aside I talk to my own little dear & first of all let me crave your pardon for not having before given you a real diary letter. My reason was the absurd scarcity of paper. You could not get any there was none in the country – but now I have received my stationery (a or e?) I will be very culpable indeed if I do not fulfil my promise. I want to speak about some little things in your letters. I am very much obliged to Miss Louisa Chisholm for making you take so much outdoor exercise – it is good for you. If she would only make you go to bed earlier it would be better still. The idea of trotting about all day and then sitting up to such unconscionable hours – half past one! Why did you not sit up all night? Don’t do it anymore Liz – even to write to me. Poor Frank – I had heard nothing about his illness. His brains were afflicted than his spine. Then he had some reason in what he said about his head going to sleep. Poor fellow. How they used to teaze him about that speech at the Cameron’s. I am so glad he is getting better. Tell him that I wrote to him - & if I had known of his weak state Especially the brain – I would have written a very simple letter – with no word of more than one syllable. I am really very sorry for him – but I feel so happy in hearing from you & also in the knowledge that he is now out of danger that I may be excused from Joking at him.

I am very glad old woman that you have come to like Ned Armour – he is a really good kind hearted Christian thoroughly earnest & as warm hearted as he is undemonstrative. Ned and I were always good friends – especially when by his laziness & being led away by Ned Burke he lost the scholarship at Trinity – since then each year has only cemented our friendship more closely. I am glad now that I am not at Edmonton. Very glad, indeed. Then the only chance of a mail would have been the H.B.Co.’s Wireless Packet & they would not have been able to bring all the mail matter for us. My old horse is picking rapidly & getting quite strong – when I left him to go to Benton I scarce expected to see him again – but since he has been here he has had no work to do but an occasional ride down to Kanonsis where my sick men were – Now old ‘Satan’ has gone to Sun River to pass the Winter. I wonder if he will forget me when he is away.

I too am glad my precious darling that you wrote that letter. You have no idea of the sense of overwhelming comfort it gave to me on the wild prairie. It seemed to make one feel at once that I was not lost that I was in my Father’s keeping – and that the spirit of your prayers hovered over me and that I was not even alone. And since then I have as before talked to your dear handwriting on the envelope – but now I could open it and hear you answer me. You would often have laughed to hear me asking the senseless bit of paper with some ink scratches on it the gravest questions and keeping up a conversation with it. Many a time too Old ‘Satan’ has no doubt cogitated on my sanity. For while we were on the march, he walking along beside me – I would talk to him about you by the hour & when I saw his bright eye of which alas! grew very dim before we got to our journey’s end I glance at me – I would throw my arms around his neck lay my head against his and tell him I wished it was you. The poor old fellow would stop & look at me so sorrowfully – as much as to say – “Now don’t take on so – all will come right in time”. Then perhaps we would see a little piece of the prairie which looked not quite so parched as the rest & we would make towards it and he would try to get a mouthful to appears that dreadful “Tiger” inside of him. Did you ever read “Blades of Grass” by Farjean? You will then know what I mean by the Tiger.

– Good night –

Fort MacLeod [ctd]

Nov. 12th

I do not know when a mail will go out or when ours will come in. I had a letter written waiting for you also one for Frank Darling and one for Harry Stotesburg a large wagon train is now expected in every day – it was heard of the day before yesterday at the St. Mary’s River. Is only 3 days from here – whether this has letters for us no one can tell. Every night in the candles a large bunch of letters points to me I look at them & wonder if they will be soon here. We have made a checker board & checkers of gun wads & now pass the evenings in friendly contests. Euchre – poker – whiskey poker too – Fare – Vingteten playing for gun wads – whiskey poker was played for tobacco. I never played for anything but gun wads & they are always given back at the end of the game. We are now likely to get into our quarters before the six weeks I spoke of are out – we have changed the mode of building – from cross logs to pickets. The first of these little drawings is meant to represent the cross log mode the latter the picket – with pickets a trench is dug & the logs set up on end and the logs are much shorter & more easily handled than in the other cross log mode. I will try when the place is built to draw you a small sketch of the place and send it to you. In that you may have some faint idea of the appearance of things around me. you would laugh to see me handling the pick & shovel. I bet you I can beat the Corporatino workers in Toronto. I have become quite an expert in their use – the axe too I can handle quite deftly – at heaving logs I am a lumberman – sawing with the cross cut saw is child’s play. I feel my arms and legs & back very very sore and stiff but there is nothing like more work to take that out of a man. The hardest work of all is mudding the chinks – we bring a stiff blue clay that is found in profession here & mix it with water & slap it as hard as we can into the chinks between the logs – it is so cold that the mud & water freeze into great huge lumps or freeze on our hands – which have to be held in the fire until the outside coating of ice melts. The pain is sometimes almost unendurable till we get used to it – and every day now gets colder & makes it worse yet it has to be done – the outside work is the hardest – when we get to doing the inside we can have warm water to mix the mud & will be protected from the wind. I had to stop & sign the sick Reports & then went over to see some sick Indians. They gave me a pair of Buffalo moccasins with the hair inside very warm. This may be said to be my first fee in the great North West from the noble redman. I got one pair from a half breed for attending to her child. By the time I was through with the Indians it was dinner time & after dinner I walked up the river 4 miles to a traders - & heard that he expected a train in from Benton every day – he had heard they were only 25 miles from here yesterday. He thinks too they have letters for us they left Benton 20 days ago. I hope sincerely they have letters. Oh what a disappointment if they have not and what pleasure if they have. Conrad is going to send his ox teams back to Fort Benton and the remained of our horses go back with him. Most probably he will take our letters too. One of our mens quarters 100 feet long is all ready for the roofing – which will in all probability be done tomorrow – then the others will follow in quick succession but numerous things yet remain to be done. It has begun to snow again to night and how long it will keep up no one knows. The weather is pretty cold all the time never even at noon being above freezing point. I wonder what you are doing. This evening after tea at 6.30 I had a smoke. I know you did not do that. Then the Col. & Winder & the Adpt. Crozier – began talking of the Fort Garry times. The Winder and I had a game of checkers in which after a protracted game he beat me. now I am writing to you. Did I ever tell you of my tent mates since we came up here. We have a Bill Tent – round – and there are three of us in it. Capt. Winder commanding “C” Troop – a tall man with whiskers & beard of a reddish brown nearly bald – very quick in his way but full of jokes & a certain dry humor – he is from Compton near Lennoxville – and knows a good many of the people around there whom I used to know and heard about. He has been in California too & is quite a traveled man. Capt. Jackson is the very quintessence of fire the chance bristro Irishman he has red hair & a pair of fierce moustaches which he persists in curling he has strange coloured eyes – not green not grey but a mixture of grey & red. He is always playing a practical Joke on some one. He has command of the artillery we have. He is from Seaforth near Coderich. Very hot tempered but obliging. We get along together quite nicely. Our mess has an addition to it of Col. MacLeod – the Assist. Commissioner of the force – after every meal of course we have a smoke and discuss the affairs of the force & the probabilities of the weather but always fall back into talking of Homes & homie belongings. I believe I told you that he is connected with the Baldwins in Yorkville and also knows the Amour’s of Bowmanville in fact at one time he used to live in Bowmanville and was in partnership with Mr. Armour. He is a very nice fellow to have anything to do with. He is from Kingston and knows the Andersen’s & Fred Nelson quite well. So putting all together we have plenty to talk about. It is now nearly bed time so I will say goodnight for the present.

Fort MacLeod [ctd]

I forgot to date this letter at least this last sheet. All on this page was written on Sunday the first of November only three weeks now to my birthday and if I don’t get a letter from you by that time I shall indeed be bitterly disappointed. Now do try like a good girl and let me hear from you. Of course you have written but also this horrible mail we have been here nearly a month and there is no sign yet of hearing from you or from home. I am getting very much discouraged – almost a fit of the blues – only that would help me – as I have not got you to talk it out of me – or play softly and the blue devils out by the piano. Did you ever receive the letters I wrote to you on the march? And the one from Chicago in lead pencil? It is a queer country out here and the people themselves are queer. Last night Conrad finished a portion of his store and his men had a dance – a home warming over the event – the music was furnished by some men from the police in the form of a concertina and two pipes – the shouting and the sight of merriment were great. I did not go over to see them but judged only from the external signs. I supped at Trinity College the other day[;] the usual Sant Gimmons and Judas supper with James. Did you hear anything about them? If you see Frank Darling tell him that I will as soon as possible fulfil my promise of writing to him. I suppose he is getting along as well as ever. Tell him that he and Jack & Mannie had better make up a party next summer and come out and see me. come by the way of the Northern Pacific Railway to Bismarck and thence up the Missouri to Fort Benton then they will have to take their horses – and come on. I will promise them lots of hunting and fishing and we can pay some of the Indians visits. I may be able to take them up to St. Mary’s Lake where salmon Trout are as thick as the sands of the sea. Mr. Cameron’s mouth will water if he hears of such an abundance of fish that only require to be caught not only salmon trout but the ordinary speckled trout are in the greatest numbers. It is great sport I am told fishing for 1 hour through the ice. If you can get them before the snow falls – the ice is so clear you can see the fish in the water under your feet. But all the hunting and fishing does not in any way make up for the loss of the letters. It would be quite bearable if I could only hear from you. Of course when we expected to go to Edmonton we had made up our minds to a long long period of silence but here it is so aggravating to know that letters are on their way or are waiting for us within a known distance and still not be able to get them. ‘Pon my word, I would not hesitate to rou the mail if I knew it contained letters for me and I should meet it anywhere. I am afraid my letters are very egotistical and harp upon one complaining strain but human nature is often all human nature – and if I did not cry out about the letters I would find other causes of discontent. There is no news here to tell you the same regular course of work on the building goes on every day. We began on the stables 'for the horses were more able to be killed by any sudden cold. You will have some idea of the magnitude of the building when I tell you that the stables were to be 120 yds in length by 8 yds wide 7 ft. high at the eves. Then then mens quarters & hospital 80 yrds long the same width - & the officers quarters and quartermasters storehouse will be 80 yds long & the same width – then the powder magazine and force. When you consider too that the logs all had to be cut & set together and then the cracks filled up with bits of wood & then plastered with thick mud. The roof made of timber small round or larger split in half - & then on the left of this – a coating of mud six inches thick & thus on top of all six inches more of dry earth – then the chimneys to be built & the windows and doors made. It is an immense undertaking especially when begun so late in the season.