Fort Macloed March 10 1875

My Dear Lizzie,

Last Monday, i.e. March 8th I footed(?) a letter to you. It has not [?] gotten outside [?] [?] of the Fort. About 10 o'clock the same morning a band of horses were seen coming over the hill. [?] were daily [?] horses from Sun River. Baker [?] horses for [?] and with [?]. Mail was expected every day. Who was it? Indians? A huge[?] crowd soon collected in front of the fort. Glasses of [?] form were all leveled in the direction of the coming strangers. Conjecture was rife. Betting was high. The horses rapidly approaching, some of our men at work on a bridge about [?] quarter of a mile from the fort. [?] their work and ran promiscuously[?] towards the new comers. [?] hearts [?] high. Some [?] [?] Maj. Walsh. [?] decieved if our suspense culminated in the heart [?] fact that the horses were for us from Sun River. Was there any mail? The horses came nearer, nearer, within a speaking distance. [?] Cochrane in charge. The question shouted ouy to him Have you any Mail? The answer came back, no. Another disappointment to add to our long list of previous ones. However he told us that he had left our mail at Fort Kipp, which was coming along in a wagon. [? shouts of joy and exaltating. How many anxious eyes kept close watch upon the distant prairie horizon. How many wary hearts ached to hear from the loved ones at home, and now [?] high with hope. Finally the wagon came in sight. The crowd which had been distracted by the horses in a moment rushed [?] of the [?] anxious joyful turbulent. In half an hour the mail had come. 11.48am. Mar 8th 1875. A day to be marked [?] a [?] stoned in my calendar. I managed to get [?] to [?] room when the letters were being distributed and got my [?]. There were 3 large bags full, over 300lbs of mail [?]. I got letters from you. Those that were set to Dufferin + Garry and the [?] that was one began on the 8th of February just one month before I recieved it. [?] received a quantity of papers, mails, notorious[?] practitioners[?], [?], as wll as some [?] papers. How am I ever to be sufficiently thoughtful to your kind thoughtful [?] + Jack willingly taken trouble for me. I immediately sat down and found the last letter you wrote, found you were well + then read your letters in reverse order as regards dates then found some letters from home I sat there [?] afternoon reading your letters, and the evening found me still busy. I could not finish all that night. On Tuesday morning I began again and by lunch time had [?] I had 48 letters! I have managed to glance at the papers but have not looked into them [?]. [?] found in [?] [?] the [?] folks and today I am writing to you. I hardly know what is in your letters do not know if you have asked me many questions or not I am so taken up with the [?] idea of your doing well and that for the time being was all I cared for. I shall take your letters of one each day and [?] and answer your questions. There is another [?] [?] of letters Conrad expects teams out from Benton + [?] there will also come other + later letters. [?] never [?] but [?] [?]. I am happy [?]. I can look [???]. Besides the mail there is little or nothing to talk about. Brooks is far better and stronger than he has been [?]. He too received a letter from home and has written one in answer. His grandmother has been very ill but is now or when she wrote quite well. I have learned [?] [?] [?] + had the [?] [?] with it. I shall proceed to answer your letter of the 8th [?]. Your letters friends to me? friends, no, not friends but something [?] closer than any friend, they are part of myself or they are reflections of your own pure warm heart and are dearer than any friend. I have not been taking my Sunday evening walk very regularly and my mind goes back to the 8th of february with [?] - I do not think i did- on Tuesday morning I was quite well thank you but [?] if it was not 11 when you were writing it could not have been quite [?] and most probably I was just getting up. The sick call is at nine and I have to bein the Hospital then. What [?] were you [?], it was evidently in the opera house, but on what occasion, [?] you have [?] [?] in one of our friends letters, and I did not notice it. I am glad you enjoyed it so Mrs. [?] was [?]. Poor thing! I hope she managed to get warm before the evening was over. My dear child I am exceedingly sorry that the thought of me should interfere in any way with your [?]. [?] not for [?] [?] [?] that I ever doubt any thing you do. [?] a fall and not [?] because you think I would find cause for doubt! Child you should not do that. [?] [?] [?] you dance and enjoy yourself as much as possible. Don't you be so [?] again. I would never forgive myself if I thought I prevented your dancing.

Capt. [?] received his discharge from the force. [?] is also [?] reported here/the report comes from Winnipeg that he's now Lord [?] and has an enourmous fortune. I hope for his wife's sake it [?] [?] [?]. I have not received the paper with the sketch of the ball. Perhaps it may be coming along in Conrad's [?]. From all the talk of fish I suppose you must have founded an aquarium in your conservatory, but how you manage to get catfish into it I do not understand. I am sorry to hear that Bessie(?) Cameron is sick. I hope [?] then that she was quite [?]. Poor Mannie, I sincerely hope that the abcess in his head will proove nothing serious. I really cannot[?] see the [?]in his [?] Dr.Cameron on the [?] [?], if he had it slang[?] [?] his [?] or [?] in his back or even fancied on his hat, one might say there was some concern, but where else would you have him put it? I am [?] of your way of thinking about Miss [?] Taylor, but I do not know for what reason. I am quite prepared to think [?] + everything [?] bad of Mr.[?] but if any one asked me why, I should feel exceedingly puzzled to give a satisfactory answer. I think [?] I have answered [?] [?], no question has been before unanswered, and for the present I must leave you. The mail closes tonight and I have one or two official letters to send and wish to write to Harry [?] [?] and another letter home. Give my love to all at home. Tell Jack I will write to him by the next opportunity. I find that I am greatly in his debt. Wish ever so much love.

I am your own Barrie.

Dec. 28th Monday.

Last night it grew steadily colder until the thermometer sank to 24º below zero. It was a pretty cold morning. The sun however rose bright & clear. I got up about half past eight and at nine went over to the Hospital. I had quite a number sick today – most of them trying to get off work on account of the cold. After I had polished them off a man came in with a toothache and wanted me to draw his tooth. I told him to come back in a half hour – as I wanted to get breakfast first. His tooth was not paining him then so he could wait with a pleasant anticipation.

Dear Liz, how glad you make me feel when you tell me that you have not been altogether unhappy with me. I am so thankful that my little girl is not too lonely all by herself – and if she thinks of me – she knows that. My darling – you speak of a womans definition of Loving. Do, Act, Love as your own true heart dictates and I will be satisfied – so thoroughly that no doubt or shadow of a doubt shall ever enter my mind. Mrs. Brownings map of Loving is extremely fine – but when did you begin to read her poetry? She is a fine writer and has some very deep glimpses into Human feeling. I am glad for Annie Taylors sake if your modified opinion of Mr. R. is the proper one. His Father was a fine man – and no one appears to know of anything tangible against Mr. R. Poor Liz – how any one can twist you round their finger and make a friend of you by saying a good word of me. I received your beautiful blue feather. I am glad you enjoyed your moonlight drive. I think the difference in time is about 3 or 4 hours. It takes 15º Longitude to the hour we are about 176º - and I do not know exactly the meridian of Toronto – but I think there is about 4 hours difference. But for the present I must say goodbye. I will be back again to talk with you in a few minutes. I pulled the man’s tooth for which he was deeply grateful and have now come back to you.

I am afraid that the report about the increase of salary is without foundation – at all events I have officially heard nothing about it and with regard to the disbandment of the Force – the appointments of new officers – hardly looks astho’ they were going to break it up again. So you don’t want me back again eh? Never mind I don’t believe you – and I will come back as soon as possible. Your beautiful pouch is very acceptable to me. Poor Liz. I am afraid that you are very lonely sometimes in spite of the cheery tone of your letters. I know I am. Your poor rose bud which you picked on Sunday Nov. 1 & were so careful in pressing was all broken up by the transit. I will keep the leaves however because your dear hands picked it. Dr. Gunn got hold of a very nice & extremely pretty little English girl in Janie Jones. She will prove very useful to him – she is handy & quiet. I always pictured our future home with a servant like Janie – noiseless & effective. Poor old woman to go busying your little head with such grand plans for me. Dr. Jukes would I am afraid not like to take your word for my efficiency and no one can tell whether we would get along together. I must confess that the plan would be very pleasant. But you must not look so high for me. remember Dr. York’s cottage or hovel – in Orangeville. That is the sort of place to be in. You remember too what you said when I showed you the house. In regard to my promotions all I have to say is with You & Saida – “only hope it is so” Poor Saida and her grand secret – what an insane idea. Out here in the Far West we are not so careful of our hair as Miss Taylor was. I laughed a good deal over her sitting up so stiffly on her chair. I am sorry that you were disappointed in the rejection of Dr. Jukes – especially as it knocks all our 'Chateau En Espange’ endways. Thank you very kindly for the relations you have discovered for me I do not know however that I particularly care for a lot of new relatives. Perhaps however they may come in useful some of these days and we will then lay claim to them – as to their wills if they ever make any. I would not count much upon them. The messenger who was to have started to Benton today has put off his departure until tomorrow – so I will have time to finish this letter to you. I have not been able to get a sketch of the square for you yet – but will send some Indians that I have managed to get hold on in various places and have stuck them into one piece of paper. On the back of the paper was a scene of our tent life. Jackson’s bed had a coat spread over part of it and my bed can just be seen in the corner behind the stove – which the foot of it is occupied by my leather satchel which can be partly seen at the end of the stove. I expect the lead will be pretty well rubbed by the time you got them. And now I must say goodbye for a little while I must go get some lunch. After lunch I had to make up a liniment for a man at Fort Kipp 14 miles from here – he has a sore leg. Then I had to go and see Brooks, it was a pretty cold tramp down there & my face was pretty white when I arrived at the house. Brooks is about the same. I am going to try and get him moved up into the Hospital tomorrow. I hope it will not be too cold for him. On New Year’s days we are going to have a lot of games races etc. Open to the world I should not be surprised but what we should have a very gay time. A foot ball match opens the proceedings & a squaw Race and an Indian Pony race are the chief points of interest in the afternoon. I am trying to write and there are three young fellows making fun of one another & laughing so I am very liable to make mistakes - & to get mixed. You must not expect to have a very very long letter this time – as so many interruptions have occurred that it has been almost impossible to keep my mind down to the subject – and now I must again say Good bye. Perhaps after dinner I will be able to add a few cross lines to this. Can you read these crossed letters? If you cannot, tell me and I will be careful in future not to cross them. I only do it because it saves the bulky appearance of the letter. So good bye. I have only time to end this off now & with love to all I am

Your own
Barrie

Fort MacLeod, December 16th 1874

My Dear Liz

This is a day that must ever be marked with a white store – for today we, I speak collectively for the force, received a portion of mail matter. I got a letter from Jack dated Oct. 11 Yours of Oct. 5th, 9th, 12th, 19th, 26th – one from Mannie of the same month – some from Aunt Ellie & Mannie of Oct. 16th also some copies of the Mail – for which I am deeply thankful. You will receive at the same time as this a letter from me – complaining very much of the letters not coming. I had almost begun to fancy something was wrong – but the fact that no one received letters made me feel that the wrong lay in the transportation. Thank God my darling that you are well. How many many times the dragging thought has haunted me that you might be ill and I not at hand to help you take care of you. All day long I have been so busy getting a list of drugs & medicines required that had to go by Major Walsh who left at 12 to day - & he had not been gone an hour when the letters came I spent the afternoon reading your letters but can hardly answer any questions. I was only cognizant of the fact that I was reading your own dear letter and I knew you to be well. I have not read any of the other letters but Jack’s. I find I have an opportunity of sending this letter after Major Walsh & can only hurriedly say that I have received yours. I am well that is all I can say. Well – everything has an end and so have long periods of time – perhaps I will one day receive your other letters – which are now wandering somewhere between Toronto & Fort MacLeod and the North Pole & the Equator.

I will just look over your last letter again. So you are in St. Kitt? Remember me most kindly to Miss Taylor and so my promotion & increase of salary is good news is it? Don’t you think that the natural consequences of that will be to lengthen my stay here? Perhaps you ought to look at it in this light viz that I am here for the purpose of making a sum of money that the larger my salary is the more rapidly will that sum be accumulated and consequently the sooner will I return. I must say that I can hardly give credence to the report. How did Dr. Thorburn know anything about it? However if you mean what you say – Old Woman, beware! I may stay out here for a longer time than at present I expect to. But if you do not want me there will be no object in my going back too soon. Your letter did not reach me in time for my Birthday nor late enough for Christmas. I hope that you will get this about New Year’s day. Thank you ever so kindly for your beautiful Tobacco pouch. It is quite acceptable I hope sincerely that I will superintend the making of the next one – perhaps too I will ‘catch’ you at it. I was going to reread your letters & answer any questions I might find in them but find that if I read I can’t write so I will only write. While I was still reading your letters this afternoon, I had to go down to Kanouse’s to see one of my sick men. He is poor fellow very ill I do not think that he will ever recover he may get over this sharp attack, but is liable at any moment to suddenly drop dead. Poor fellow – he is his grandmother’s only grandchild & had lived with her all his life – never having been away from her until he came on this expedition. He must have been longing to see the wrinkled old face & to hear the tremulous accents of his old second mother – to hear from her or of her – and here I was in the bloom of health blessed with news from my loved ones, while he poor chap lay suffering in mind & body without one scrap of comfort. It seems so hard. I talked with him a long time and it was quite dark when I got back & found tea waiting and your letters still unfinished & Jack’s & Mannie’s & the Home letter & Ned’s all to be read. I first went to the Colonel & told him I wanted some one to go down & sit up with the sick man – went & got the likeliest man for that purpose and made up some medicine for him – gave directions how it was to be taken – came in had tea – lit my pipe and then finished your letters & Jack’s & the Home one. I think you must be mistaken when you say that mother has suffered so much with her ear and eye. Aunt Ellie says it is Aunt Lou & if it were Mother what would she be doing way up in Philadelphia. I must close now with fervent heartful thanks to the glorious giver of all good things & with my best love to my own Lizzie.

Barrie