Jany. 6th.

This morning was cold, but bright and sunny. I went the usual Hospital rounds, after breakfast, which I took about 10 o’clock, I pasted all the Chess problems and columns in a book made of an old newspaper. This occupied me until lunch time. After lunch I had half promised Allen to go with him down to Kanouse’s for a walk, but feeling lazy I backed out + began areading “Nancy”. This kept me employed until about 4 o’clock, when a man named Thomas came in from Fort Kipp, saying that there was a person sick down there who would like very much to see me. I could not very well go just at once, as I had no horse + could not be back to attend my duties in the morning. So I said that I could go in the morning. Just as Thomas came in, Mr. Denny with a small party went out to arrest an Indian who had stolen a wife from another Indian + threatened to shoot the latter. When Denny arrived in the Indian Camp, the accused had flown, but the woman went joyfully back to her first husband. After dinner to night, a fire broke out in the “C” Troop Barracks, the Assembly sounded + all the men promptly answered to the call. The fire proved to be nothing more serious than a chimney + was quickly extinguished.

One of the men Wilson by name, hurt his wrist this evening, + after I examined it, began talking with him. He is from St. Catherine’s, knows of Mr.Taylor + knows of Miss Taylor’s engagement to Robertson. He also went to Upper Canadian College at the same time as Jack, Mannie, Willie Wedd and others that I know. He was acquainted with Morson of Niagra, + used to visit Morson at Trinity College. It sounded very curious to hear my friends spoken of, way out here in the NorthWest where I thought no one knew any one of my friends.

And no I must say good night it is half past eleven + I want to get up early, in order to get through with my business here and start off to Fort Kipp. Good night.

Jany. 5th.

To day has been very clear + very cold. The usual daily round of the Hospital. In the evening after dinner we had a big dance in the Mess Room. One of our Mess men plays on the Concertina + sleeps in the kitchen – we wakened him up and made him play for us. We began with a “Walk Round” then had a set of Quadrilles, + then varied the proceedings with waltzes and gallops - + schottisches [?] We had very good fun. If it may be allowed, without being called conceited, I will say that I was the Belle of the Ball. I was the only one who could dance “Lady” with anything like decency, and consequently my hand was sought after. As soon as we stopped a second claimed my hand. Of course I felt highly flattered. I too was the only one who could dance the Boston – (by the by, I am glad to hear that you have learnt it) I waltzed around, by my lone, to the great edification of the onlookers, in the graceful images of that seraphic step, now sailing grandly forwards, then careering joyfully backwards. They no sooner said, “Now I have it”, then by reversing I again threw them into a stack of bewilderment bordering on lunacy. That would have been fine if only I could have a waltz with you again. It is late and I must say Good night + Pleasant dreams.

Jany. 4th

Last night it was very cold, the thermometer showing 30º below zero, I think it must have been lower than that. I did nothing to day but the usual rounds and began a letter to Mannie which I expect to send along to Benton at the same time that this one goes out.

Jany. 3rd Sunday.

I have had no time to write you before. On New Years Day, we were very busy with the races + trials of strength + feats of agility. I ran in the smoking race + did not win it + also started in the mile race, but found it too cold on my face + so at the end of the quarter I stopped. The day passed off very well indeed and although it was very cold, still the excitement kept us moving about pretty lively. Denny had started down to Fort Kipp the evening before, to get our letters and bring them up as soon as possible. He did not make his appearance tho’ until dark this evening (Jany. 1st) + when he came he brought sad tidings – Wilson + Baxter two men stationed at Fort Kipp had come up to camp on leave + had started for Kipp again in the afternoon about 2 o’clock, had not yet arrived or at least Wilson had been found on the prairie, half frozen + Baxter not found at all. Their horses had however both come in. while I was preparing to go down, to see if I could do anything for him an Indian came in with a letter stating that Wilson was dead. However the Col. told me to go on + perhaps Baxter might be found + possibly I might be able to help him. So I got this Indian to go down with me, and wrapping up well I got on the Col.’s horse and started it was now quite dark + blowing fairly cold, cloudy so that we could see no stars + cold whew! it was cold. I was told not to spare horseflesh and we continued down 17 miles without drawing rein. We spoke not a word, but 3 times, once when his horse got on some glass ice, + slipped. I told him to take care, he laughed, and we proceeded on our way, again he made some sign to me by which I understood the river was off to the left, and a third time, he pointed to the north + made some signs + then whipped up his horse to full speed, I did the same, + we flew along, within a minute such a storm of wind and snow broke upon us, everything became dark and the cold was intensified to a terrible degree, I was afraid I would lose my guide and spurred up, + altho’ I could hear him I could not see anything, my foot touched his and still I could not see him – finally, we both got so cold that almost intuitively we both got down and began to run – about 8.30 we saw sparks from the chimney of the fort + in a minute or two we were within the enclosure. How thankful I was to again be in safety I cannot tell you. Imagine it yourself, I was determined to go there even if I had to go alone, as atfirst I thought I was to, I had your little book along, and it seemed to me as tho’ I could feel it warming my heart, it appeared to fill me with a blessed assurance of safety, such as I had never before felt. Except that time on the prairie alone. I was sorry to hear that Baxter had not been found, we set the Indians after, promising rewards should they find him alive or dead. I sat up and read your letter beginning Nov. 23rd, also one from Taida [?] from Uplands + one from Mannie from Savannah. I had brought them down with me having gotten there just as I was starting. In the morning, an Indian came in to say he had found Baxter, dead, about six miles from the Fort and a mile off the road we found the body of the unfortunate man. He was put in the sleigh and about 3 o’clock we arrived in Fort McLeod [sic]. It was found out that these two men had, after leaving our Camp, gone to one of the traders Forts near us and had remained there until dark and then started off in the storm got lost and died. It cast a gloom over our New Year’s festivities. The men were buried today at 4 in the afternoon, it was very cold 18º below zero, + a cold north wind. I hope that I will never again have such a ride. There was something terribly exciting about the ride, the cold wind whistling around us, the bounding of the willing animal beneath me, the strange dreary silence, the dense obscurity, and the sad news + the idea the perhaps I might have a melancholy duty at the end of our ride + in fact the uncertainty – that I would even reach the end alive – all contributed to make the journey exciting and one to be remembered. I fancy this terrible example will render the men more careful about going out at night on these wild prairies alone we did feel some deep anxiety on account of Denny, but for these two fellows we never felt a moment’s uneasiness, leaving us as they did so early in the afternoon. I expect that I will never be called on again to have such a ride. So old woman don’t be anxious about me, I am alright, and even had I started alone I feel assured that I would have reached Fort Kipp in safety. There is talk of sending in a mail from here in a few days. I do not know of any other opportunity just yet. This was not such a large mail as I expected it would have been, but all things in this Country are magnified to an extraordinary amount.

December 30th

You will notice that my last letter or rather the first page of this letter was commenced upon the wrong side of the page, don’t let it bother you. This morning as usual I was up in time for sick parade, my servant calls me every morning at 8.30, gets my things together, brushes my boots and fetches water for me to wash in – the sick list this morning was nothing much. The morning was most bright and beautiful, the sun shining through the clear bright atmosphere, the mercury stood at 18º below zero, but we did not feel the cold. After breakfast I set about making the mattresses and at noon I rode down to Kanouse’s and fetched Brooks up to the Hospital, he stood the journey pretty well. I got him safely into bed – and I fancy he is pretty comfortable. I had lunch then and then read a little medicine – Mr. Weatherwax, a trader, was up here today to enter a lot of horses that he had just brought from Benton, and said that his train was a day behind + had an immense mail for us – probably it would be up tomorrow. He expects it about 3 o’clock at his place and thinks by 4 o’clock it should be here. I hope it is true – that there is a mail – there seems to be no doubt – but as to its size and whether it is all the mail matter that has accumulated in Garry for us during our absence is another question. Shall I go on telling you of my associates? I have told you of Winder and Jackson and Denny – Denny knows T.C. Patteson, met him way off in Illinois, they both come from the same county in England. Welch is another young Englishman. His father has command of the Queen’s Yacht. Welch was rather inclined to be wild and was sent out to America to travel – he has been in Buffalo working there + has gone through Charleston Savannah Florida + New Orleans. He put up finally at Ottawa I believe he had some Government situation there – he joined the force as a Private or Sub-Constable was are they called – and through Political influence was made an officer. He is a little stout chap with a curling lip, knows snatches of nearly every song that is going but although not a bad fellow to meet with, I do not exactly like him, perhaps I judge him too harshly. I do not think I could trust him, he would not have the slightest scruple in getting a person into trouble is he happened to take a dislike to him, + he is continually taking dislikes to people. Allen is a Canadian, son of Dr. Allen solong Mayor of Cornwall he is a broth of a boy – a man without principle + coarse – but he is good humoured and jolly + easy to get along with – does not drink although he swears worse than any trooper – I am living with him now – in preference to being with Winder and Jackson – Crozier is an Irishman by birth, but has lived for a very long while in Canada and claims the proud title of Canadian. He is a Belleville man – has been in the Registrar’s Office in Belleville – he is tall rather nice looking and excellent company, good natured, does his duty well, and might be called a good square-toed fellow – he is older than the other three sub Inspectors. He’s acting Adjutant to Col. MacLeod. But now I must say good night. Oh what joy awaits me tomorrow, for I am sure to get letters from you – even if they are old, they will be in your own dead handwriting. God bless you.

Fort MacLeod Dec. 29th 1874

My dearest Lizzie

I am now writing in the Mess Room. Denny is lying down upon one of the benches trying to take a snooze – he is on duty to day as Orderly Officer & his duties do not end until after 12 tonight when he has to visit the guard – so he is lying down and I am to wake him when I go out or when it is 12 o’clock. I am not in the best temper in the world – I have just been beaten in two games of chess – and I feel angry at myself for allowing such a trivial affair to vex me as much as it does. And I have come to you to be comforted & petted into a better humor – I hope dearest it will even be so – and that I will never come to vent my illfeeling upon you. Such an act always appears so cowardly to me – that I do not think I could even do it – not that I am a very brave man – but it is so small + mean + I do not think I am either small or mean in my ways. What are you doing to night? Do you remember this night a year ago? I think I was in London – and if I am not mistaken – we had a dance at the Fergusson’s – perhaps tho’ I have gotten things mixed a little. I do not remember exactly and have not my note book at hand to refer to. I recollect Xmas day carving a lot of Turkeys at the hospital and then coming down and carving some more at your house + it seems to me that the Cameron’s had me to dinner then too Did they or did they not? Last Evening after I had given your letter to “Foy” (that is the name of the man going into Benton) I came back + the Mess Room, Conrad was there and after a little talk, he went away and took the Col. with him – we young chaps are left in the Room and began dancing jumping kicking + various other performances. Calculated to enliven our minds + improve our muscles. The carpet on our Mess Room floor is one warranted to stand any amount of ill or rough usage being as the latest authorities state at least one mile in thickness. After that we went to bed. To day I, after visiting the Hospital , had breakfast, + then endeavoured to get a team to bring Brooks up from Kanouse’s, but they were all engaged in the morning, and I did not want to bring him up in the afternoon, thought it too cold. I also got from Quartermaster’s Stores some heavy canvass to make mattresses of, but could not get the tailors to sew this bag together. This occupied me most of the morning. The remainder I spent endeavouring to solve some of the Chess problems Jack was so kind as to send to me. I succeeded in solving one or two – of one I had the greatest satisfaction of knowing it to be correct as I happened to have the answer at hand – the others are solutions but whether Correct or not I cannot say. Then came lunch and after lunch I had my hair cut, and the rest of the short afternoon I had some medicine. After dinner Ferland my Hospital Seagt. came over to my room and I read with him for a while, then came in + played a couple of games of Chess with Denny in both of which he beat me, he is now three games ahead of me, and then I came to you to comfort me. Oh, Liz, my own precious darling what would I not give to have you by my side, and feel your soft hand stroking me gently, or playfully slapping the wolf from my back. You can’t think how lonely I feel sometimes, so utterly helplessly alone, how I long for some one who once knew something of the things that used to interest me or of the people I was associated with. At times the feeling is so strong over me that I am in utter misery, but you even when so far away have still the supreme power of chasing away all such gloomy or wretched feelings. If I cannot write to you and feel you talking to me just at the moment, I can think of you, no one can prevent my doing that + no duty however arduous or in need of my closest attention can sever my thoughts from you or prevent them from wandering back to you. And do you want to know about y comrades + fellow officers? Who shall I begin with? Denny? He is now sleeping on the hard wooden bench. He is to begin with an Englishman + Son of an English Clergyman, Dean Denny (I believe) and according to his own story has spent a good deal of money there trying to farm, he is going on 23 and fine looking, with quite a handsome face + is quiet and gentlemanly in his deportment, and altogether is a very nice fellow, he might be called a little strange at times, but I suppose, he like others gets a fit of the blues at times. He is very generous to me and as far as I can learn to all others, the Officers, at least some of them teaze him a good deal about his American experience and he is given to drawing the long bow at times. But he is very consistent and sticks well to a story, not matter how improbable it might appear – Good night now my dear it is 12 o’clock and I must go.

Dec. 28th Monday.

Last night it grew steadily colder until the thermometer sank to 24º below zero. It was a pretty cold morning. The sun however rose bright & clear. I got up about half past eight and at nine went over to the Hospital. I had quite a number sick today – most of them trying to get off work on account of the cold. After I had polished them off a man came in with a toothache and wanted me to draw his tooth. I told him to come back in a half hour – as I wanted to get breakfast first. His tooth was not paining him then so he could wait with a pleasant anticipation.

Dear Liz, how glad you make me feel when you tell me that you have not been altogether unhappy with me. I am so thankful that my little girl is not too lonely all by herself – and if she thinks of me – she knows that. My darling – you speak of a womans definition of Loving. Do, Act, Love as your own true heart dictates and I will be satisfied – so thoroughly that no doubt or shadow of a doubt shall ever enter my mind. Mrs. Brownings map of Loving is extremely fine – but when did you begin to read her poetry? She is a fine writer and has some very deep glimpses into Human feeling. I am glad for Annie Taylors sake if your modified opinion of Mr. R. is the proper one. His Father was a fine man – and no one appears to know of anything tangible against Mr. R. Poor Liz – how any one can twist you round their finger and make a friend of you by saying a good word of me. I received your beautiful blue feather. I am glad you enjoyed your moonlight drive. I think the difference in time is about 3 or 4 hours. It takes 15º Longitude to the hour we are about 176º - and I do not know exactly the meridian of Toronto – but I think there is about 4 hours difference. But for the present I must say goodbye. I will be back again to talk with you in a few minutes. I pulled the man’s tooth for which he was deeply grateful and have now come back to you.

I am afraid that the report about the increase of salary is without foundation – at all events I have officially heard nothing about it and with regard to the disbandment of the Force – the appointments of new officers – hardly looks astho’ they were going to break it up again. So you don’t want me back again eh? Never mind I don’t believe you – and I will come back as soon as possible. Your beautiful pouch is very acceptable to me. Poor Liz. I am afraid that you are very lonely sometimes in spite of the cheery tone of your letters. I know I am. Your poor rose bud which you picked on Sunday Nov. 1 & were so careful in pressing was all broken up by the transit. I will keep the leaves however because your dear hands picked it. Dr. Gunn got hold of a very nice & extremely pretty little English girl in Janie Jones. She will prove very useful to him – she is handy & quiet. I always pictured our future home with a servant like Janie – noiseless & effective. Poor old woman to go busying your little head with such grand plans for me. Dr. Jukes would I am afraid not like to take your word for my efficiency and no one can tell whether we would get along together. I must confess that the plan would be very pleasant. But you must not look so high for me. remember Dr. York’s cottage or hovel – in Orangeville. That is the sort of place to be in. You remember too what you said when I showed you the house. In regard to my promotions all I have to say is with You & Saida – “only hope it is so” Poor Saida and her grand secret – what an insane idea. Out here in the Far West we are not so careful of our hair as Miss Taylor was. I laughed a good deal over her sitting up so stiffly on her chair. I am sorry that you were disappointed in the rejection of Dr. Jukes – especially as it knocks all our 'Chateau En Espange’ endways. Thank you very kindly for the relations you have discovered for me I do not know however that I particularly care for a lot of new relatives. Perhaps however they may come in useful some of these days and we will then lay claim to them – as to their wills if they ever make any. I would not count much upon them. The messenger who was to have started to Benton today has put off his departure until tomorrow – so I will have time to finish this letter to you. I have not been able to get a sketch of the square for you yet – but will send some Indians that I have managed to get hold on in various places and have stuck them into one piece of paper. On the back of the paper was a scene of our tent life. Jackson’s bed had a coat spread over part of it and my bed can just be seen in the corner behind the stove – which the foot of it is occupied by my leather satchel which can be partly seen at the end of the stove. I expect the lead will be pretty well rubbed by the time you got them. And now I must say goodbye for a little while I must go get some lunch. After lunch I had to make up a liniment for a man at Fort Kipp 14 miles from here – he has a sore leg. Then I had to go and see Brooks, it was a pretty cold tramp down there & my face was pretty white when I arrived at the house. Brooks is about the same. I am going to try and get him moved up into the Hospital tomorrow. I hope it will not be too cold for him. On New Year’s days we are going to have a lot of games races etc. Open to the world I should not be surprised but what we should have a very gay time. A foot ball match opens the proceedings & a squaw Race and an Indian Pony race are the chief points of interest in the afternoon. I am trying to write and there are three young fellows making fun of one another & laughing so I am very liable to make mistakes - & to get mixed. You must not expect to have a very very long letter this time – as so many interruptions have occurred that it has been almost impossible to keep my mind down to the subject – and now I must again say Good bye. Perhaps after dinner I will be able to add a few cross lines to this. Can you read these crossed letters? If you cannot, tell me and I will be careful in future not to cross them. I only do it because it saves the bulky appearance of the letter. So good bye. I have only time to end this off now & with love to all I am

Your own
Barrie