Mar. 5th

Nothing going on to day. I made out a table of the temperatures for February. It was above zero most of the time. Welch is going away for a week on leave, he starts tomorrow. I think he does not intend to go far, but merely wishes to break the weary monotony of Barrack life. I went up this afternoon to the Indian Camp to see the sick woman. She was ever so much better. I took a sketch of an [?] of a wigwam not very good but something like [?] the old cry No Mail. Surely something must have happened to the man.

Feb 24th

Still the same unvarying cry no mail. It stormed wretchedly yesterday. The wind blew cold + strong from the north, blowing [?] [?] snow into deep eddying[?] drifts [?]. I think I had sufficient cause for the Blues. Do you not think so? The horrible things are still hanging around me. Will you try and drive them away? If you only could see how cross I look. I think you would positively be frightened, so for that reason you I am glad you cannot see me. This morning the usual dull round of duty -one chap did not feel like working + played sick- I [?] him + understand that I know what was ailing him, and [?]clined him soundly. I am sorry now that I did not put him under arrest. When I returned to my room, a whole bag[?] of squaws came in. there were at least 12 of them and several children. I gave them a smoke, and [?] the eyes of the children, + after a little while they all got up and went away. Brisbois came up from Fort Kipp today, to wait for the ‘Mail’. How anxiously we scanned the horizon, watching every object we saw moving, hoping against hope that it would bring a Mail. So all Hope is not deadyet. Baker is due here, but what is causing this delay we cannot imagine. Perhaps the Mail has been delayed East of Benton + he is waiting for it, perhaps he never reached Benton, he may have been frozen to death, or killed by Indians. At all events he has not come yet and here we are expecting him. You would be amused to see the dresses of the squaws. A pair of moccasins + leggings, a sort of gown made of blanket with two holes in the side for the arms and one on top for the head, + slightly gathered in around the waist, over this is thrown a blanket or buffalo robe, confined around the waist by a broad leather belt, usually thickly studded with brass headed tacks. If they get too warm they throw off or back the outer robe + display their arms which are well formed and strong. The men are also loosely clad. A pair of moccasins + leggings + a Buffalo Robe or blanket. In the cold they keep the blanket wrapped closely about them, near the fire they sit in their skins. Well my dear the Blues are better, but are still present. Let us hope tomorrow they will have disappeared with the arrival of a Mail – Good night.

Feb. 2nd

Crozier got away this afternoon about 1.30 he expects to be away about two or three weeks. The square was a scene of busy confusion all morning, men choosing horses, + then endeavouring to catch them, saddling + getting their provisions etc on a small toboggan. The day is pretty cold but will probably not remain so for long as a South West Wind is blowing. The mail which was redistributed to the men has revived again + tomorrow another trial is to be made to get it off. Let us hope this time with more success. Allen is now singing as loud as he can bawl, not 3 feet from my left ear + making the nights hideous with harsh discords, without exception he has a harsh whistle + unmusical a voice as any one I have ever heard. The great beauty of it is that he imagines it is superb + that he has a fine tenor voice. However he has his good points and is going to take the mail tomorrow morning over to Stand Off where it is to be taken to Benton by some teams going in from thence. So we will say no more about his singing – perhaps he is only happy that his letters are going in, and I am sure we can overlook any little boisterous outburst. That blot is owing to my writing with a new pen. “J”, Is that not Sallie’s favourite pen? I + it at first did not hold the ink consequently it *ran* down on the paper + I put the blotting paper over it which I think did not mend matters much. Just think it is only a month since I heard from you last, and I have been groaning + whining because I have not heard sooner, and for nearly six months I heard not a word. I suppose the difference is to be accounted for in the fact that I have now more time to think over the matter, + perhaps like the tiger after once tasting blood is athirst for more. At all events I am anxious awaiting the arrival of another mail + letters from you.

I am sorry to say my tooth began aching again to day, but only for a short time. Poor Denny has been suffering from a bad toothache, which I have managed to relieve but he refuses to have his tooth extracted it is a front tooth + perhaps his looks would be considerably damaged. I am very much afraid that I will not be able to go to Canada on any leave of absence, as every day I find something more for me to do or something that will act to keep me here continually. But as none of us know what disposition will be made of the Force next Summer, so none of us know where we will be or what we will be doing. It may be that we may all go to Fort Garry or Pelly. But in any case I think I am booked for Fort Macleod until I leave the Police. Do you recollect what Jack + Mannie were going to do? Come out next summer + take dinner! What a blessing the sight of a well known face associated with Canada would be, not only to myself but to every member of the Force. What is Mannie doing now. Has he started a practice in town, or has he gotten a practiceship anywhere? You will perhaps be glad to know that Brooks my patient about whom I was so anxious is now much better. Next Sunday, if all goes as well as it has, I expect him to set off. I am going to cross this letter although I have not yet heard from you whether you like them crossed but I have not a great deal of time to write much more and expect to finish this very soon. I wonder what you have been doing with yourself this past month I wonder if you have gone home with Saida[?]. I suppose not. There is only one way ever to get you then and that is to take you there myself and so Mother will never know Lizzie Beaty but by hearsay. Do you think that it is possible for this to reach you on Valentine’s day. Possible but not probable. 4 days to Benton + 11 to Toronto. The 17th. However near enough to be a Valentine.

The days are now rapidly lengthening and the Sun is daily becoming more and more powerful, so that the middle of the day is now quite comfortable. It won’t be long before they are warm. How pleasant that will be. And when they do get warm, I shall often take our Sunday evening walk, which the excessive cold caused as to discontinue. I used to so enjoy them. I was then by myself and yet not alone, everything I saw spoke of you, and all sounds shaped themselves into words spoken from you, and I always came back with a sense of comfort and rest from those after tea walks.

Do you remember or rather will you ever forget the pleasant times we used to have on Sunday evenings. Oh, dear. And now the Mail is about closing and I must hurry to say God bless you. Remember me to all, + also to Auntie Taylor is you visit her or see her.

Times up. Believe me Lizzie as ever

Your own Barrie

Jany. 31st

Sunday. The Sun this morning rose very bright + clear, but towards noon, a cold wind started from the North and in the afternoon it snowed. Everything looks blue, and I feel blue therefore prepare to have some of my surplus spleen, vented on your unoffending head. Are you ready? Perhaps if I first give my reasons for being blue, you will know better how to laugh or cheer me out of them. In the first place I am blue because I am without you; next because being here I also am not able to hear from you; again, because you did not receive my last letters + will be so anxious to hear from me, + perhaps will get the blues yourself, which gives me a fourth reason viz because I cannot be at hand to comfort you. Poor old girl. Don’t get disheartened, if you do not hear from me nor of me, so often as you could wish, try and think of me as writing to you at that moment. Think that I am well and hearty and strong with a wolfish appetite, + with the means to satisfy it too. Lift up your head and think that by laughing and trying to be happy you are making me so. And Our Father whose unremitting care watches over us, or will gather us tenderly to his bosom. Darling did you ever think of the time when one of us must leave the other, no more to come back? Child I charge you Pray for me as ever, to be kept in the right way, to be made to look at events + trials in their proper light, that I may be kept from useless and causeless repinnings. Lizzie would you mind giving me one of the prayers which you daily use. I would so like to have the same form of words as you have, so that I might feel myself nearer to you, + be more in unison with you. Perhaps you would rather not or cannot single out the one you like best. If you have the slightest hesitancy in agreeing with my proposal please don’t feel obliged to say yes. Will you not dear? There is one prayer I always use, night + morning. It is the Collect for Whitsunday. In the Church Prayer book. I have used it for a long time.

This is the end of the first month of the New Year. How quickly it has gone. Do you remember that song “And the years glide by”? There is an ode in Horace with the self same words – “Labuntur Anni” “And the years glide by” Three years will soon slip away, + then the Homeward Journey – will the long stretches of level prairie seem so endless then? Will the days journey be so stirring then? And when I reach the railway, will not my heart fleetly outrun the huge iron horses. Ah, trust me it there cannot go too fast for me. There is something going on tonight Capt. Winder and a party of armed men have just started off, for somewhere to try and do something – more anon. It is snowing now + is past nine o’clock.

Jany. 30th

The Mail has come back and the letters that by this time should have been in Benton + on their way East, were redistributed to us, a sore disappointment is was, + must be for you, for it is now some time since you got a letter from me. we have had quite a long spell of very moderate weather, today the wind is blowing a gale, but from the South West and it is not cold.

Fort Macleod Jany. 25th 1875

Dearest Liz,

It is snowing to day, + blowing considerably – there is nothing like this country for wind + changeable weather. The mail has not yet left here, the bag is closed and I do not care to trust my letter alone to the care of the man taking it out. Today at 11 o’clock I held an inspection of the men, they are a very fine set of men physically speaking.