Feb 17th

I am afraid that this can scarcely be called a ‘diary letter’. So many days have passed without my writing anything in it. I leave you to imagine the humdrum life I am leading, every day the same thing. On Monday night Crozier Welch Denny and I went up to Crowfoot’s Camp to the dance. The evening did not pass quite so pleasantly as former ones perhaps because we were becoming satiated with so much dissipation. Crozier Welch + Denny were each kissed by various squaws + had to give them a pledge, we returned to the Fort early. I was not called upon to dance. I was just as well pleased as tho’ I had danced at the evening. On Tuesday Waxy’s trial was finished and he was convicted of indirectly trading whiskey to the Indians, + sentenced to a fine of $500.00 + six months imprisonment. He is now cogitating over his misdemeanors in the Guard Room. Smith was fined $300.00 and six months imprisonment. The warrant for his imprisonment was held over + he is to leave the country, not to come back within a year. One or two minor cases also came off relative to the possession of horses. Tuesday night my tooth began aching + kept me awake the greater part of the night. It has continued to ache all day to day + is still pounding away. It did not prevent me going with Col. McLeod to the Willow Creek Bluff about ¾ miles from the Camp to signal to some of the officers. A horse race came off this afternoon between Allen’s + Kanouse’s horses. Kanouse won. I saw the race from the Bluff. I took another sketch of the exterior of the Fort of Col. McLeod, he is going to send it to his sister Mrs Baldwin + to have it Photographed. My tooth aches so I can scarcely sit still, nothing does it any good, but rubbing the gum with strong Tr[?] Sodium. I must tell you before I stop that it is raining to night, a slight drizzle, but enough to show you that now, it is not very cold. Good night darling. I hope soon to hear from you. Perhaps by tomorrow you will have received my last letters. I do not know when this will meet your eye, but am afraid it will not be for some time. Good night once more.

Jany. 23rd

The mail does not go out until tomorrow, so I have another day of grace. I gave Ferland my Hospital Sargt. Leave for two or three days, to go down to Fort Kipp to visit some of his friends. Consequently I have to do his work and my own. I am writing now in the Hospital. It is nearly 12 o’clock. The morning has passed rapidly and uneventfully. Brooks is this morning worse than he has been since he came up from Kanouse’s. His heart is fearfully weak. Poor fellow. It does seem so lonely and so hard for him, suffering as he does and bearing it so patiently. He lies quietly in bed as a sleeping child. His two words with which he answers nearly all questions of his welfare are ‘middling’ + ‘not so well’. I wish that I could hold out some hope of his ultimate recovery, but I am afraid that I cannot. I was here called away by the entrance of the orderly office Capt. Jackson, + the Regimental orderly Sergeant, going their rounds. I had ‘no complaints’ + he expressed himself satisfied with the appearance of things. I heard to day that the Indians very nearly had a fight amongst themselves, up the River. But it turned out to be all blow. The Indians however threw off their blankets + put the squaws away + begun cocking their pistols, etc when the Trader in whose Fort this scene was taking place jumped over his counter with his 7[?] shooter already cocked + with some threats + persuasive language cooled down their belligerent feelings and they began to smoke the pipe of peace.

To day has been like a spring day, a heavy mist has come over the prairies + the cold has turned the mist into minute crystals, which drive past you glistening glittering in the sunlight like as many diamonds. The thermometer was -20º but it did not feel cold in the least. The sun is now shining very bright + the melting snow is dripping quicker from the roofs of our buildings, + disappearing from the ground. The Indians too taking advantage of the warm sunlight, come out like flies to warm + stretch themselves. I have seen a good many of them around today. To give you an idea of their laziness, one was sitting on the Hospital yesterday when I came in I found him + stood about 4 feet from him, he put out his hand for me to shake + would not get up to reach me. I held out mine and motioned him to come – he would not – so as I was not particularly anxious to shake, I turned away. If they are sitting in arms length of a fire, they will give you a match or a piece of paper + motion you to light it + hold it to their pipes, when they could perhaps do it more easily than you.

The Orderly room bugle from prisoners has first sounded and I am afraid I will have to go there as there is a case coming on of a man feigning sickness and I will have to be present. I hope soon to have more letters from you.

The men who are going to take this mail in are going to come right out again + bring what little they can. So it will not be more than a month till I again hear from you. These months January and February are the two bad ones, we had always heard about, in which little or no communication was kept up with the outer + civilized world. Summer or Spring will soon be here, and with it bring many discomforts + many luxuries, most of all an uninterrupted communication with you. I expect that a mail will be established weekly or fortnightly from here during the Summer.

Now my darling, don’t you be anxious on my account. I begin to think that perhaps my telling you, in my last letter of that dark cold side, may make you more anxious + trouble you more than there is any necessity for. The backbone of the Winter is now fully well broken, of course we will have storms + some cold weather, + there is also no use in shutting our eyes to dangers that do + will menace us. But the very knowledge of such danger is our greatest safeguard for we are careful.

The most we have to fear from the Indians is the loss of our horses. In the spring when the Indians begin to move, they take every opportunity to steal a horse + then pack off to the mountains, + are no more seen. Our presence here has had a most salutary effect upon them, they used to lay their hands upon anything that was left carelessly around, now they pass them by, or return them to their owners. And now I must say good night for the present, I anxiously look forward to another Mail from Benton. Remember me most kindly to the Cameron’s + give my love to all at home. How does Sallie like water colours? She used to distain them having a preference for Crayons. I want you if you can to send me one or two good French Novels. I am keeping up my French + can understand almost any conversation, + also to a very small extent speak the language.

And so Good night.

I am your Barrie.

Jany. 6th.

This morning was cold, but bright and sunny. I went the usual Hospital rounds, after breakfast, which I took about 10 o’clock, I pasted all the Chess problems and columns in a book made of an old newspaper. This occupied me until lunch time. After lunch I had half promised Allen to go with him down to Kanouse’s for a walk, but feeling lazy I backed out + began areading “Nancy”. This kept me employed until about 4 o’clock, when a man named Thomas came in from Fort Kipp, saying that there was a person sick down there who would like very much to see me. I could not very well go just at once, as I had no horse + could not be back to attend my duties in the morning. So I said that I could go in the morning. Just as Thomas came in, Mr. Denny with a small party went out to arrest an Indian who had stolen a wife from another Indian + threatened to shoot the latter. When Denny arrived in the Indian Camp, the accused had flown, but the woman went joyfully back to her first husband. After dinner to night, a fire broke out in the “C” Troop Barracks, the Assembly sounded + all the men promptly answered to the call. The fire proved to be nothing more serious than a chimney + was quickly extinguished.

One of the men Wilson by name, hurt his wrist this evening, + after I examined it, began talking with him. He is from St. Catherine’s, knows of Mr.Taylor + knows of Miss Taylor’s engagement to Robertson. He also went to Upper Canadian College at the same time as Jack, Mannie, Willie Wedd and others that I know. He was acquainted with Morson of Niagra, + used to visit Morson at Trinity College. It sounded very curious to hear my friends spoken of, way out here in the NorthWest where I thought no one knew any one of my friends.

And no I must say good night it is half past eleven + I want to get up early, in order to get through with my business here and start off to Fort Kipp. Good night.

December 30th

You will notice that my last letter or rather the first page of this letter was commenced upon the wrong side of the page, don’t let it bother you. This morning as usual I was up in time for sick parade, my servant calls me every morning at 8.30, gets my things together, brushes my boots and fetches water for me to wash in – the sick list this morning was nothing much. The morning was most bright and beautiful, the sun shining through the clear bright atmosphere, the mercury stood at 18º below zero, but we did not feel the cold. After breakfast I set about making the mattresses and at noon I rode down to Kanouse’s and fetched Brooks up to the Hospital, he stood the journey pretty well. I got him safely into bed – and I fancy he is pretty comfortable. I had lunch then and then read a little medicine – Mr. Weatherwax, a trader, was up here today to enter a lot of horses that he had just brought from Benton, and said that his train was a day behind + had an immense mail for us – probably it would be up tomorrow. He expects it about 3 o’clock at his place and thinks by 4 o’clock it should be here. I hope it is true – that there is a mail – there seems to be no doubt – but as to its size and whether it is all the mail matter that has accumulated in Garry for us during our absence is another question. Shall I go on telling you of my associates? I have told you of Winder and Jackson and Denny – Denny knows T.C. Patteson, met him way off in Illinois, they both come from the same county in England. Welch is another young Englishman. His father has command of the Queen’s Yacht. Welch was rather inclined to be wild and was sent out to America to travel – he has been in Buffalo working there + has gone through Charleston Savannah Florida + New Orleans. He put up finally at Ottawa I believe he had some Government situation there – he joined the force as a Private or Sub-Constable was are they called – and through Political influence was made an officer. He is a little stout chap with a curling lip, knows snatches of nearly every song that is going but although not a bad fellow to meet with, I do not exactly like him, perhaps I judge him too harshly. I do not think I could trust him, he would not have the slightest scruple in getting a person into trouble is he happened to take a dislike to him, + he is continually taking dislikes to people. Allen is a Canadian, son of Dr. Allen solong Mayor of Cornwall he is a broth of a boy – a man without principle + coarse – but he is good humoured and jolly + easy to get along with – does not drink although he swears worse than any trooper – I am living with him now – in preference to being with Winder and Jackson – Crozier is an Irishman by birth, but has lived for a very long while in Canada and claims the proud title of Canadian. He is a Belleville man – has been in the Registrar’s Office in Belleville – he is tall rather nice looking and excellent company, good natured, does his duty well, and might be called a good square-toed fellow – he is older than the other three sub Inspectors. He’s acting Adjutant to Col. MacLeod. But now I must say good night. Oh what joy awaits me tomorrow, for I am sure to get letters from you – even if they are old, they will be in your own dead handwriting. God bless you.

Fort MacLeod Dec. 29th 1874

My dearest Lizzie

I am now writing in the Mess Room. Denny is lying down upon one of the benches trying to take a snooze – he is on duty to day as Orderly Officer & his duties do not end until after 12 tonight when he has to visit the guard – so he is lying down and I am to wake him when I go out or when it is 12 o’clock. I am not in the best temper in the world – I have just been beaten in two games of chess – and I feel angry at myself for allowing such a trivial affair to vex me as much as it does. And I have come to you to be comforted & petted into a better humor – I hope dearest it will even be so – and that I will never come to vent my illfeeling upon you. Such an act always appears so cowardly to me – that I do not think I could even do it – not that I am a very brave man – but it is so small + mean + I do not think I am either small or mean in my ways. What are you doing to night? Do you remember this night a year ago? I think I was in London – and if I am not mistaken – we had a dance at the Fergusson’s – perhaps tho’ I have gotten things mixed a little. I do not remember exactly and have not my note book at hand to refer to. I recollect Xmas day carving a lot of Turkeys at the hospital and then coming down and carving some more at your house + it seems to me that the Cameron’s had me to dinner then too Did they or did they not? Last Evening after I had given your letter to “Foy” (that is the name of the man going into Benton) I came back + the Mess Room, Conrad was there and after a little talk, he went away and took the Col. with him – we young chaps are left in the Room and began dancing jumping kicking + various other performances. Calculated to enliven our minds + improve our muscles. The carpet on our Mess Room floor is one warranted to stand any amount of ill or rough usage being as the latest authorities state at least one mile in thickness. After that we went to bed. To day I, after visiting the Hospital , had breakfast, + then endeavoured to get a team to bring Brooks up from Kanouse’s, but they were all engaged in the morning, and I did not want to bring him up in the afternoon, thought it too cold. I also got from Quartermaster’s Stores some heavy canvass to make mattresses of, but could not get the tailors to sew this bag together. This occupied me most of the morning. The remainder I spent endeavouring to solve some of the Chess problems Jack was so kind as to send to me. I succeeded in solving one or two – of one I had the greatest satisfaction of knowing it to be correct as I happened to have the answer at hand – the others are solutions but whether Correct or not I cannot say. Then came lunch and after lunch I had my hair cut, and the rest of the short afternoon I had some medicine. After dinner Ferland my Hospital Seagt. came over to my room and I read with him for a while, then came in + played a couple of games of Chess with Denny in both of which he beat me, he is now three games ahead of me, and then I came to you to comfort me. Oh, Liz, my own precious darling what would I not give to have you by my side, and feel your soft hand stroking me gently, or playfully slapping the wolf from my back. You can’t think how lonely I feel sometimes, so utterly helplessly alone, how I long for some one who once knew something of the things that used to interest me or of the people I was associated with. At times the feeling is so strong over me that I am in utter misery, but you even when so far away have still the supreme power of chasing away all such gloomy or wretched feelings. If I cannot write to you and feel you talking to me just at the moment, I can think of you, no one can prevent my doing that + no duty however arduous or in need of my closest attention can sever my thoughts from you or prevent them from wandering back to you. And do you want to know about y comrades + fellow officers? Who shall I begin with? Denny? He is now sleeping on the hard wooden bench. He is to begin with an Englishman + Son of an English Clergyman, Dean Denny (I believe) and according to his own story has spent a good deal of money there trying to farm, he is going on 23 and fine looking, with quite a handsome face + is quiet and gentlemanly in his deportment, and altogether is a very nice fellow, he might be called a little strange at times, but I suppose, he like others gets a fit of the blues at times. He is very generous to me and as far as I can learn to all others, the Officers, at least some of them teaze him a good deal about his American experience and he is given to drawing the long bow at times. But he is very consistent and sticks well to a story, not matter how improbable it might appear – Good night now my dear it is 12 o’clock and I must go.

Fort MacLeod, December 16th 1874

My Dear Liz

This is a day that must ever be marked with a white store – for today we, I speak collectively for the force, received a portion of mail matter. I got a letter from Jack dated Oct. 11 Yours of Oct. 5th, 9th, 12th, 19th, 26th – one from Mannie of the same month – some from Aunt Ellie & Mannie of Oct. 16th also some copies of the Mail – for which I am deeply thankful. You will receive at the same time as this a letter from me – complaining very much of the letters not coming. I had almost begun to fancy something was wrong – but the fact that no one received letters made me feel that the wrong lay in the transportation. Thank God my darling that you are well. How many many times the dragging thought has haunted me that you might be ill and I not at hand to help you take care of you. All day long I have been so busy getting a list of drugs & medicines required that had to go by Major Walsh who left at 12 to day - & he had not been gone an hour when the letters came I spent the afternoon reading your letters but can hardly answer any questions. I was only cognizant of the fact that I was reading your own dear letter and I knew you to be well. I have not read any of the other letters but Jack’s. I find I have an opportunity of sending this letter after Major Walsh & can only hurriedly say that I have received yours. I am well that is all I can say. Well – everything has an end and so have long periods of time – perhaps I will one day receive your other letters – which are now wandering somewhere between Toronto & Fort MacLeod and the North Pole & the Equator.

I will just look over your last letter again. So you are in St. Kitt? Remember me most kindly to Miss Taylor and so my promotion & increase of salary is good news is it? Don’t you think that the natural consequences of that will be to lengthen my stay here? Perhaps you ought to look at it in this light viz that I am here for the purpose of making a sum of money that the larger my salary is the more rapidly will that sum be accumulated and consequently the sooner will I return. I must say that I can hardly give credence to the report. How did Dr. Thorburn know anything about it? However if you mean what you say – Old Woman, beware! I may stay out here for a longer time than at present I expect to. But if you do not want me there will be no object in my going back too soon. Your letter did not reach me in time for my Birthday nor late enough for Christmas. I hope that you will get this about New Year’s day. Thank you ever so kindly for your beautiful Tobacco pouch. It is quite acceptable I hope sincerely that I will superintend the making of the next one – perhaps too I will ‘catch’ you at it. I was going to reread your letters & answer any questions I might find in them but find that if I read I can’t write so I will only write. While I was still reading your letters this afternoon, I had to go down to Kanouse’s to see one of my sick men. He is poor fellow very ill I do not think that he will ever recover he may get over this sharp attack, but is liable at any moment to suddenly drop dead. Poor fellow – he is his grandmother’s only grandchild & had lived with her all his life – never having been away from her until he came on this expedition. He must have been longing to see the wrinkled old face & to hear the tremulous accents of his old second mother – to hear from her or of her – and here I was in the bloom of health blessed with news from my loved ones, while he poor chap lay suffering in mind & body without one scrap of comfort. It seems so hard. I talked with him a long time and it was quite dark when I got back & found tea waiting and your letters still unfinished & Jack’s & Mannie’s & the Home letter & Ned’s all to be read. I first went to the Colonel & told him I wanted some one to go down & sit up with the sick man – went & got the likeliest man for that purpose and made up some medicine for him – gave directions how it was to be taken – came in had tea – lit my pipe and then finished your letters & Jack’s & the Home one. I think you must be mistaken when you say that mother has suffered so much with her ear and eye. Aunt Ellie says it is Aunt Lou & if it were Mother what would she be doing way up in Philadelphia. I must close now with fervent heartful thanks to the glorious giver of all good things & with my best love to my own Lizzie.

Barrie